Husbands: Here’s a Vital Habit to Keep Your Marriage and Sex Life Strong
Conflicts are bound to happen. Disagreements are a part of life. Anger, disappointment, unmet expectations, being let down, not communicating properly are all things that happen as sure as the sun rises in the east.
If you are alive and breathing, these things are an inescapable part of life. We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people so imperfect things will happen. (see here for more on imperfection.) If we run from these things, they will follow us and haunt us.
I have met many people who have run away from dating relationships because of a disagreement or conflict without reconciling. They just leave with hard feelings and all. Without fail, they take their hard feelings and open wounds into the next relationship and that new relationship rarely has a chance of succeeding because of all the baggage brought into it.
I have met a few divorced people who do the same.
I have also met a few people still married, but their relationship is so deeply damaged because there hasn’t been any reconciliation, that their marriage remains miserable, joyless, and sexless. All they can see is the faults and hurts of their spouse. If you think being single is lonely, then talk to a person who is in a miserable, joyless, and sexless marriage, that’s lonely!
Men, if you want a strong marriage with good and joyful sex you must make it a habit to keep short accounts with your wife. If you have an argument, if at all possible (caveat: some hurts will take some time to work through like adultery), settle it before you go bed. “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26 ESV)
Your wife has little desire to give herself to you if you are not reconciled after a fight, so reconcile. Remember, conflicts in marriages gives us opportunities to play who wants to be a Christian. (hat tip to David Wayne)
Will you rise above all the stuff and work through the conflict to become united again? Or will you take the path of least resistance, not do the work and ever slowly drift further apart? It takes a godly man to do the former and a weak kneed, excuse ridden boy to do the latter. Remember that God is with you and will strengthen you to be that godly man. Lean on Him during these times…He favors the humble and opposes the proud. (James 4:6 ESV)
Also remember, that it gives the devil great joy to mettle in and weaken our relationships. He wants to neuter us so we do not threaten his work here on earth and one of the ways he does that is through your relationship with your wife.
Keep the devil at bay and your marriage and sex life strong by reconciling with your lovely wife in a timely manner.
If you think this post was helpful, please click the button below to share it with others.
By David Zook, Pastor Morningside Evangelical Presbyterian Church in Phoenix, AZ.
Read Full Post | Make a Comment ( 1 so far )
Four Tips to Become More Loving and Devoted to Your Husband.
The essence of this statement is do you love your husband more today than yesterday? How about more this year than last year?
Marriage is difficult even in the best relationships. Differences as trivial as the leaving the toilet seat up or down to the more significant ones like child rearing or career choices have the ability to drive wedges into our marriage vows.
Couple those differences with the pressures of time (honey, I got to work late) which can lead to neglect and lack of romance from your husband, and over the years weeds grow into your garden that will choke out the love that was so evident on your wedding day.
This is the heart of Solomon’s lover’s statement in the Song of Solomon 2:15, “Catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards for our vineyards are in blossom.” Life presents all sorts of stuff to take us of keeping the main thing the main thing. Ask God to remove those from your life and help you establish a lifestyle that will bring you together closer, rather than tearing you apart.
The Song of Solomon in the one book in the Bible that focuses exclusively on romance, sex, conflict, and relationships. It is an epic poem broken into the various stages of a relationship from dating to growing old together.
Near the end of the book (chapter 7) after a series of conflicts, we find the lovers reunited and extolling the virtues and attributes to one another of what caused them to fall in love in the first place. (chapter 4).
Here are a few suggestions to keep the flame burning through the twists and turns of life:
1) Stay close to the Lord. He is not the author of confusion or deceit in relationships, but of clarity, comfort, and wisdom.
2) Keep short accounts with your husband. Repentance melts away hard hearts more than anything else.
3) Forgive your husband. Though this may take time depending on the situation, reconciliation brings unity, strength, and a deeper love.
4) Intentionally spend time with each other. You did a fabulous job of this prior to marriage and kids so continue it after marriage and kids. Go on a date and spend time with your hubby. It works.
If you think this post was helpful, please click the button below to share it with others.
By David Zook, Pastor Morningside Evangelical Presbyterian Church in Phoenix, AZ.
Physical for the Christian Soul 